many people have asked me these questions in some form or another. and i have actually just felt like being a hermit instead of answering them. i’ve spent some time journaling, processing, and thinking about my 10 months in the philippines…and this is what i have come up with.
the superficial:
1. i like korean pop now. i never thought the day would come, but it’s just so darn catchy.
2. i will never be vegetarian again. it simply isn’t possible where i live in the philippines, and i stopped being vegetarian so as to not impose my elitist dietary preferences on my filipino host culture. and if i extend that courtesy to my host culture, shouldn’t i also extend it to my beloved friends and family when they cook delicious meat dishes? absolutely!
3. i have a lower standard of hygeine and cleanliness. the jankiest bathrooms in america do not faze me anymore.
4. i’m a lot more sensitive to cold now. i had to wear underarmour in my own house for the first couple days.
5. i say “ay naku!” instead of “aiya!”
this is what other people have told me:
1. “your face is more chiseled now”
2. ” you seem happier now”
3. “you seem like you’re really at peace…like you’ve gone through something really hard, but come out stronger”
4. “you’ve become stronger”
5. “you look paler…wait, weren’t you in the philippines? how is that possible?” (the answer is daily application of spf 55 sunscreen, which i never did in california)
the (more) substantive:
1. i learned a lot more about myself and my identity. haha, i thought i was done with that after college, but we’re never really done with that, are we? outside of my comfort zone and what was familiar to me, i learned about who i really was. i didn’t actually like some of what i discovered, but i’m not a hopeless case. overall, i think i like who i am becoming.
2. i do think i am more patient now. the pace of life is slower in the philippines- much slower than it is in berkeley. and my daily commute to samaritana consists of a 10 minute walk + a 15-30 minute jeepney ride + a 3 minute walk across an overpass + another 30-60 minute jeepney ride + another 10 minute walk. i commute over an hour to attend church on the weekends.
3. my faith is stronger than it ever was before. i went through a period where i questioned the goodness of God…as in how could He allow so much suffering in the world? especially after living through ondoy, there isn’t an easy or comfortable answer to that question…but i’ll just say that i would rather believe that God is in control than believe that something out there is greater than Him that causes the suffering in the world.
4. i learned that i must live like i believe in God, that i love Him, that i trust Him. i knew this before of course, but i guess it just really sunk in while i was in the philippines. when i stress out, i am living like i don’t believe He is in control. when i start to lose hope and begin to despair, i am living like i don’t believe in His goodness and sovereignty. of course i still mess up, but i guess that’s where grace comes in. and thank goodness for that =)
